Australian streamer Amber ‘PaladinAmber’ Wadham has put out the call for her Twitch fans — half-jokingly, half not — to send her toilet paper as Coronavirus fears Down Under lead to fewer and fewer rolls stocked in supermarkets.
Toilet paper has become worth its weight in gold in Australia over the past few weeks. After the first suspected cases of Coronavirus cropped up across the east coast, people went into panic mode, hoarding as many dunny rolls as they could.
The nation-wide panic has left many supermarket shelves bare of any and all toilet paper, and PaladinAmber has decided she’s going to have to take drastic measures to make sure she can still go to the bathroom in peace.
The Twitch star explained the situation to fans during a March 9 stream, and joked she was considering doing something she’d “never done” to make sure she could make it through the ‘crisis’: reveal her post box address.
“I wish I was joking when I said there is no toilet paper here… Australia has no toilet paper, we have no toilet paper at all anymore. You actually have to ration your toilet paper at the moment!” the Aussie entertainer said with a laugh.
“I’m about to do something I’ve never done before. I’m going to give out my post box. I’ll tell you why — I need toilet paper. We don’t have any! Long-life milk, gone. Toilet paper, gone. All the perishables on the shelves? Gone!”
The situation — while comedic at first glance — has begun to have more serious impacts on Australian life at the moment. National supermarket chains like Coles and Woolworths have started limiting the purchase of toilet rolls.
On Sunday, two women, alleged to be aged 23 and 60, descended into a supermarket brawl over the last toilet paper left in a Woolworths in Sydney’s southwest. The clip went viral, and the pair are bound for court in April.
“There’s women who are literally going to court over toilet paper!” Amber laughed as she continued to update her fans. “Toilet paper here in Australia is as gone as TwitchCon Europe is now, there’s just none left.”
David Attenborough voice; “Here we have the ever so rare hysteria driven “ignoramus nincompoops” fighting in a historic place for toilet paper, specially 3ply, as the two battle it out for the last rolls it’s a battle quite literally of the buttholes….” pic.twitter.com/cbc2Hmk5ZS
— Paladin (@PaladinAmber) March 7, 2020
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As well as her half-joke, half-serious call out for fans to ship her toilet paper from the States or Europe, the Aussie streamer also admitted she had considered taking other drastic methods to combat the shortage.
“I’m this close to ordering a bidet… I’ve considered it a couple of times now, just in case,” Amber admitted. “I wouldn’t mind having one… especially now.”
The streamer, notorious for her vocal outbursts against viewers and her on-point roasts, also stuck true to form when one of her fans told her someone they knew had bought “upwards of $600 worth of rolls” when the virus news first broke.
“$600? Tell him to get f**ked! Toilet paper, 3-ply, it isn’t going to save him, the biggest asshole of all, from Coronavirus!” she lashed out, a wide smile on her face.
Amber concluded by suggesting she and her viewers should start an “underground trading ring” so everyone who needs toilet paper, hand sanitizer, perishables and more, but have “idiots” in their area, can still “get the goods.”
While PaladinAmber may not have been entirely serious with her callout to send her dunny rolls during Australia’s trying time, other Coronavirus impacts have been a little more on the problematic side, especially in esports.
The Overwatch League has already canceled all South Korean and Chinese homestands, and Riot’s LEC and LCS are set to play their finals behind closed doors. Rocket League’s Season 9 championship has suffered a similar fate too.
EA also recently made the call to cancel or postpone all Apex Legends and FIFA events, and game-focused conferences like E3 and TwitchCon Amsterdam have slammed the breaks on to avoid large gatherings in affected areas.