Home Alone is one of the greatest festive flicks of all time, and these are the movie’s very best lines, as said by Kevin, Harry, Marv, Gus Polinski, and Uncle Frank.
Written by John Hughes, directed by Chris Columbus, and starring Catherine O’Hara, John Heard, Daniel Stern, Joe Pesci, and the kid from Uncle Buck, Home Alone was expected to be a modest hit during the Christmas of 1990.
But the story of an 8-year-old boy being mistakenly left behind by his family when they fly to France for the holidays – then protecting his house from burglars – captured the imagination of the world.
So-much-so that the movie quickly became a monster hit, remaining at the top of the box office charts for an incredible 12 weeks, and grossing $475 million from a budget of $18 million. Making Home Alone the most successful comedy of all time, and turning star Macauley Culkin into a household name.
Top 12 best quotes in Home Alone
Home Alone is remembered for its slapstick physical gags more than its witty one-liners, but the script is also consistently hilarious, giving great lines to Kevin McAllister’s nightmare family, as well as dastardly thieves Marv and Harry.
Kevin also spends a good chunk of the movie talking to himself, in scenes that young Macauley Culkin nails in adorable fashion. So the following are 12 of the best quotes from Home Alone.
Aunt Leslie: “Fuller! Go easy on the Pepsi.”
Kevin’s cousin Fuller wets the bed. Which is a nightmare for Kevin, as he’s having to share that space with his young cousin. So these words send a shiver up the 8-year-old’s spine, as does Fuller’s grin that follows, suggesting those sheets are going to get soaked.
Kate: “Kevin!”
This is the moment Kate McCallister realises that she’s left her son in Chicago. And Catherine O’Hara delivers the line with such marvellously wide-eyed panic that it became a big moment in the trailer, and a quote that she repeated in sequel/remake Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.
Johnny: “Keep the change, ya filthy animal.”
While enjoying some alone time, Kevin watches a black-and-white gangster movie called ‘Angels with Dirty Faces.’ In which a gangster called Johnny fills a rival with lead and calls him a “filthy animal.” The scene terrifies Kevin, but he puts it to good use later in the movie by recording the line, and then using it to fool his home invaders.
Kevin: “This is ridiculous. Only a wimp would be hiding under a bed. And I can’t be a wimp. I’m the man of the house.”
Kevin starts the movie by being bullied by the rest of his family, who think that the youngster should grow up. Which he does over the course of the movie, with this line a turning point that prompts Kevin to take responsibility for himself, and his house.
Marv: “Harry, it’s our calling card. All the great ones leave their marks. We’re the wet bandits!”
Marv and Harry break into homes over the holiday and steal everything that can get their hands on. They also flood said houses before leaving, a cruel move, which means that when they are caught at the end of the movie, the authorities know every crime they’ve committed. Doh!
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The Wet Bandits! Daniel Stern as Marv and Joe Pesci as Harry in Home Alone.
Harry: “Merry Christmas little fella. We know that you’re in there and that you’re all alone.”
Home Alone is a family film, and Marv and Harry are funny antagonists. But it only works if the thieves also seem like they pose a threat. And by casting legendary Hollywood tough guy Joe Pesci as Harry – and giving him threatening lines like this – the movie puts Kevin in very clear and present danger. Thereby raising the stakes for Home Alone’s grandstanding climax.
Uncle Frank: “If it makes you feel any better, I forgot my reading glasses.”
As played by Gerry Bamman, Uncle Frank might be even more awful than the Wet Bandits, and this line could be the most horrible – and funny – thing he says.
Kevin: “Will you please tell Santa that instead of presents this year, I just want my family back.”
Kevin eats bad food and watches violent movies while he’s home alone, in scenes of peak kid wish fulfilment. But as the novelty of that freedom and independence wears off, he realises that he misses his family, prompting Kevin to make this heartbreaking plea to a fake Santa, to be delivered to the real Santa.
Gus: “Allow me to introduce myself – Gus Polinski – Polka King of the Midwest.”
John Candy shows up midway through Home Alone, introducing himself as the “Polka King of the Midwest.” When Kate doesn’t recognise him, Gus sings one of his polka songs, which consists of the lyrics: “Polka, polka, polka.” Then lists more bizarre-sounding polka tunes, before briefly demonstrating ‘The Polka Twist.’ Making this the perfect Candy cameo.
Marv: “Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?”
During Kevin’s attack on the Wet Bandits, Marv gets hit in the face by an iron, and steps on a floor full of glass, while Harry gets covered in glue and feathers, prompting Marv – in one of the film’s funniest moments – to ask why he’s “dressed like a chicken.”
Kevin: “You guys give up, or are you thirsty for more?”
Being a kid, the Wet Bandits don’t initially see Kevin McCallister as much of a threat. But after the iron, the feathers, and the glass, they change their tune. And that’s before the Micro Machines. Kevin isn’t backing down and shouts these words before unleashing a double dose of paint-can pain on the pair.
Kevin: “I went shopping yesterday… I got you milk, eggs, and fabric softener.”
On the surface, Home Alone concerns a kid protecting his house from burglars. But it’s really about 8-year-old Kevin McCallister growing up, something the reunited family realises when Kevin reveals that – aside from “just hanging around” – he spent his home alone time stocking up on provisions for their return. This means little Kevin really has grown up.
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